Who are you

I wanted to jump right into this blog by writing out posts of my current successes and failures, diets, workouts, etc. However; I would like to tell you a little bit more about myself before I share with you how I got to where I am now.

Fitness is something that has always been an escape for me. Growing up, I played every sport there was to play in school (except maybe football). In grade school I was on the volleyball team, basketball team, soccer team and softball team as soon as I was eligible, as well as karate lessons on the side. Moving on to high school I played volleyball, soccer, basketball and I was also on the swim team. It didn't matter what team you were on, or if you got along with every person.. when it came down to the game everyone encouraged and work together toward a common goal. Nearing the end of my high school career our sports teams got taken away from us and I guess you could say this is where things started to go downhill. 

In grade school, I was bullied a lot. I was the chosen child to make fun of at every grade school I went to. I remember specific events of bullying that happened like it was yesterday, situations you would only imagine to be seen in a movie.. never to a real person. It got so bad at one point during my career, I wanted to be taken out of school and home schooled. I couldn't bare the thought of going to school every day and seeing the same girls who made my life what felt like hell. I was an extremely sensitive and anxious child, I would come home crying almost every single day, I would fake sick at school so I could go home, I even remember having the urge to make myself throw up in the morning, put a hot towel on my forehead, sniff pepper so I would sneeze uncontrollably.. anything so my mom would believe I was sick so I wouldn't have to go to school in the morning. I was always too afraid to follow through, but the thought crossed my mind an awful lot. My family moved when I was 8 or 9 and I started at a new school and the bullying continued with a whole new group of people. It wasn't as bad as we neared grades 6-8, it translated to rude comments rather than actions and they began to be kept to a minimum.. unfortunately at this point I was so used to being bullied it started to not even phase me anymore because it was  something I expected. 

In high school is where everything changed. All of those people that bullied me throughout grade school were at different schools now, I felt like I had a chance for a new beginning and I wasn't going to let anything stop me from letting this be a better experience. My schooling experience thus far had been absolute shit and I refused to let it be that way my entire life. I made a good core group of friends and I didn't stray too far away from them. I tried to be friendly toward everyone, I didn't want enemies. Something came across me where I just didn't want to be walked on anymore so I became a bit of a hard ass. If you like me cool, if you didn't.. I didn't care anymore. Obviously you can't go to high school and get away without at least one or two fallouts, because lets be honest ... I am not everyones cup of tea and I never will be. But aside from those, my high school experience was neither here nor there. It wasn't insanely special but I didn't hate it either. 

Now onto university. First year university was a nightmare for me. I signed up for a program I didn't even want because I had to go to school so a choice needed to be made. I literally flipped a coin. I quickly learned university is WAY too expensive to be flipping coins over and owing thousands of dollars to a school to teach you things you don't want to learn about. I simply wasn't ready for university. I wasn't ready for the commitment and to be quite honest I didn't care. I never studied for exams, I spent all of my time at work picking up extra shifts instead of studying and almost failed out of school. I was unhappy and it was starting to show. I had a conversation with my parents and we decided it was best if I didn't go back for a second semester and just worked until I was ready to commit myself. So I did just that, I worked 50 hour weeks and I fell into a slump. All I did was work, sleep and eat. I made no time for my friends or myself. I fell into what I can only assume was a minor case of depression for about 6 months, my anxiety flared up and I had no desire to do anything or see anyone.. ever. I was in a pity party of poor me and I gained about 40lbs. 

AND THIS IS WHERE THE JOURNEY BEGINS. 

Once I had realized I had gained this weight and stopped feeling bad for myself, I asked my mom for help. We both knew I needed to get my shit together and I needed to do it NOW. She helped me a lot along the first part of my journey and with her help I lost that 40lbs and then some. This is where the story really begins. Since that initial loss, 2 years ago now.. I have gained some back and lost it again and again. My journey is constantly changing as I'm sure yours is too, but that's why I'm so excited to share this blog with you and hopefully help at least one person along the way. 

We all have a story that deserves to be heard. Thank you for reading part one of mine.

Join me if you will and let's motivate each other.





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